Friday, July 11, 2008 @11:13 PM
was a LONG day today. felt bad in the morning cuz i woke up late den matthew went to class with 3 strangers. haha. went for consultation. newell helped me collect my 3 index prints. which costs $10 each.. and each consultation we must have 100 pictures = 3 index prints. total got 3 consultations = $90 pocket got hole again liao. must wok harder. plus today is nicholas's birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICHOLAS MY FREN FOR 10+ YEARS! YOU WILL BE A PIG NOW AND FOREVERMORE!! haha. ok. frens since pri 1. cool hur. photo shoot with newell.. was very paiseh cuz i was wearing a freaking dress. but nvm la. wan help den help all the way, dun leave it hanging. den went for the waiting or dating class. which was very awkward also cuz newell sit beside me den everyone was like.. ehhhh??? hahaha. den newell went to eat at Ashton's though he trying to save money. so funny.learnt alot at the waiting or dating class today.. wow. i've never felt so.. wow for such a long time. throughout the whole class, i kept thinking of gary. as in. i finally know what's been going on.. the fights and arguements that we over superficial and meaningless things, the hurt and the pain after each meeting and the carnality of the whole relationship. hai. i guess. it was all infatuation. i DID put in my best though. ive tried to please him, give in to him and all. i guess we're just not meant to be. time to move on la alina. stop thinking of him all the time. something struck me about love. it is the mature acceptance of imperfection while infatuation is the idealism of love (thinking that everything will go out fine). loving someone=accepting him or her for who she is, despite her flaws and weaknesses. infatuation=eeee. ure not perfect for me, let's break up. i guess thats wad has been going on. there's a saying that to find your Mr. Right, first be a Mrs. Right. you cant expect someone to be perfect for you when you're not perfect for them. it's unfair.another thing that struck me was that love must be shown. have i been showing love to the people close to my heart? my sheep, my family, my close frens.. this.. really made me think. what have i been doing? nobody is perfect. we can't expect perfection though we CAN work towards perfection. God's love is neverending. the bible says. "husbands, love your wives just like Jesus loved the church and gave His life for the church". loving someone means laying everything down for the person, so that that person will feel happy. love is not about me, myself and i, but rather, wad would my man want? wad can i do to please him? wad can i do to make him happy? it's no longer i but Christ who lives in me. God never had any "i do something for you so i can have something back" mindset. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;Does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. (1 Corinthian 13:4-8)the best passage of love. in the eyes of God. finally going to church tmr. FINALLY! im sooooo happy. i miss the people, the surroundings. especially the presence of God. im getting more passionate for Him. im getting my fire back. thanks to newell bah. fellowship does build the family of God up. (please dun xiang wai hor. me and him = nothing going on)
