Tuesday, October 28, 2008 @4:26 PM
it's been about a month since i joined Gen1.1.so far. i'm liking it, in fact loving it. dunno why. but there's this sense of belonging and purpose that i've not been feeling in a long time. maybe it's because i feel that there's so much more i can do for god and the people around me. i admit im still childish but i know that God can use the foolish to confound the wise. (:
that day i was in student comm. my school's director, Moses seems to be a very driven man. he reminds me of Pastor Yang for some weird reason. one part that struck me was when he spoke about Hitler. you know the story, Hitler won the hearts of many Germans after WWI and these men grew up in a dysfunctional family, with no father because of the war. the Germans looked up to him as a father and he led another generation of Germans to be fatherless.
yesterday, i was at a BBQ with some of the gen1 people and pastor saw thiha as well as some Burmese people. we were discussing about the mv. apart from that, pehhan was sharing about a certain religion that were fatherless as well. i shall not state here for wise reasons haha. but anyway, i was wondering about what was all the whooha of this fatherless thing. i guess im starting to experience it now.
my parents' health are failing and my mum is planning to move out of the house after my 2nd brother finishes his NS. which means that im moving out too, leaving possibly my father and eldest brother behind. in the past, i would always wish in my heart that my parents would just divorce since they're so unhappy being together. but now that im in that point of getting there, im starting to feel.. saddened. im relatively close to my mum but the only relationship that i have with my dad is that i see him everyday. take that away from me and i'll break. im thankful to God now that both my parents are still alive. but apart from that, i want them happy and even more than that, i want them saved. how? i don't know. but i know that they will. i can only pray that a miracle will happen and i don't have to seperate from my dad. i don't want to leave him alone. i may not talk to him often but i love both my mum and dad the same.
good news is, God is the father to the fatherless and all who lack of a father can always come to Him with His hands open wide. haha. but anyways, things will change and i will too. i'm starting to love life and appreciate little things around me even more. and even if i were to die for the cause of doing something more than this, i would gladly do so. if God permits. (:
