Saturday, November 1, 2008 @10:15 PM
hmmm. been to cell today as usual.. but things were different.
i dunno. it's been different every single week ever since i came.
or rather, i'm just still not used to it in Gen1.1
but i like it. i like change. i don't like things to be the same old same old.
today, gary leo spoke to me about gary ho. hmmm.. sensitive topic eh?
but i knew that it was coming and i knew that it was good. i had a decision to make. and i made it. i've realised that now i'm a leader, people will look at the way i walk, the way i do things, the way i talk, and most of all, the way i walk with God.
i'm not used to it. i've never been treated like this before. sometimes, i would rather be a follower, doing whatever gary tells me to do, just slack around and not take the initiative. it's different now.
i'm kind of getting used to the way things are right now. and i take it as a challenge.
a challenge to change.
to move on
and to impact.
i've said this before, impacted people impact people.
today, i've made a decision to move on and not to look back.
pehhan shared today, about a vision that Ps Brain Bailey had: a lady who loved shoes was raptured. but when she looked back in the midst of her rapture, she slowly came back down and was found unworthy of the rapture. moral of the story is, are we, or rather am i walking wholeheartedly in love with Jesus or is something else holding me back?
let not he who has put his hand on the plow look back. the defination of letting go is releasing and walking on without looking back.
when i had bible study with joana and yuwen, i knew in my spirit that something was different. it's not just them learning, but i was as well. learning to practise what i preach, to walk in what i believe in.
lengthy post.. but gah. who cares. haha. it's time to do something of more meaning, of higher purpose and a higher call. i don't wanna be just another 17-year old. i wanna be more than that.
and i don't need anyone to accept me for the way i am.
simply because, i know what im doing is right.
as for the myanmar mv, i've accepted it, it's my baby, my responsibility. and i'm gonna do my best in it. it's not just another cd for the record. neither is it just another addition for my portfolio. it's for the nations, it's for impact and for tranformation.
i wanna be like an esther, a deborah, a jael and most of all, a ruth. lover of Christ, standing on what i believe in..
MOI, im sorry for all the things i've done anyways. i wasn't emo-ing, trust me. my mind was simply distraught and i was just emotionless. so yea. somehow, my treasure is back to where Jesus is. at any case, still friends yea? just give me time cuz i'm still like. unsure of myself cuz of that little molehill that was blown up to a mountain.
after all, i wanna live for a cause worth dying for. (:
